Anyway, I feel kind of bad because not all men in Provo are that superficial, the ones I know are already dating girls that aren't me. As for the rest of these male gems? I'm sure if you are 18, thin and looking for a husband... this is the place...for you. However since I am older, chubbier, and have a bit more personality (sometimes too much for my own good) I tend to either intimidate other women to the point where they want nothing to do with me, or I attract similar girls with interests in life and love and all the dreams that come with it, and become the best-est friends of all the boys I have loved, cheers to me! Not that there is anything wrong with that either, I will welcome friends in all shapes sizes and emotional attachments.
Better yet, I hang with married people, which always seems to be safe and consequently more fun than hanging out with other lonely single girls on an idle weekday eve.
I initially started this blog with the intent of apologizing to the women who read the rant blog because those things happen to me, and probably won't happen to them. But if they do decide to move here for men, be warned! Mostly of that one guy who will remain nameless and I am still counting on Heavenly Father and the universe to take care of that monstrosity.
I have been sick, in a weird way all week. I can't eat without getting nauseating heartburn and other unpleasant gestational quirks.The only good thing about being sick? I've lost the holiday/ Momma Carr death weight I gained. YAY. I was supposed to head up to Salt Lake tonight for a party with friends I haven't seen in a while but had to skip out because I felt so icky. I ended up going to the temple instead with my dear friends Destiny and Eliza (who are single, but not lonely and marriage hungry) and I felt a little better afterwards, I was SO hungry that I came home ransacked the kitchen completely looking for Mac and cheese (the kraft kind) and I was convinced it would cure me, I found a box of Western Family that had something oily and sticky on the bottom and that was SO A NO-GO. I had to drive down to Allens in scary snow and picked up 2 boxes of spiraly, cheesy goodness. At home I made them both with the intent of eating it all, because you know I hadn't really eaten much today and I deserve it! HOWEVER after a little bit I started to get sick again so Toby the dog got a nice treat. The other box and a half of Mac and cheese is now in a bowl, wrapped tightly with plastic, and hopefully waiting for someone else to eat it. I'm sorry I let you down Mac! Now lets get on with that heartburn!!!
You forgot the part about how the thin, no-mind-of-her own, perky little 18-year-old needs to have long, straight hair. Preferably blonde, but really any color will do - so long as it's long and straight. And so long as she wears makeup - though every guy will say he doesn't actually like makeup. I now take that statement as evidence that those men don't know makeup when they see it. I suspect a lot of men wake up the morning after their wedding and wonder why their wife's natural coloring has smudged onto the pillowcase.
ReplyDeleteAnd now maybe I should apologize to the world too :-). But I'm up for hanging out any time you want to have girl time with awesome and similarly frustrated women.