If you catch me on the wrong day

I will flip out.

Today I learned that Momma Carr's cancer cannot be operated on because her pancreas has hardened and so the cancer is here to stay, chemo will only stabilize the growth but who can go through chemo for the rest of their lives? Summer called me at noon and I rushed home shortly after so she wouldn't be alone, we were both crying and trying to acclimate to this new situation. I'm worried about Papa Carr, I don't know where I fit into this scenario. I want to be acting with the right etiquette not overstepping my boundaries. I have always been the strong one in my family, never the first to cry at a good bye or death. Death is seeping into my life through holes I never knew existed, My best friend just lost her dad on Sunday, of whom I loved as well. He fought long and hard and eventually succumbed to cancer as well. These were healthy people non-drinkers/smokers, and they are loved beyond the boundaries of earthly existence. It's not fair.

So I did what I am good at I cleaned, did my laundry, scoured the kitchen and living room. Had yams and salad for dinner went to the gym, Bio class tra la la. Met up with a really annoying guy who keeps telling me how hot he thinks I am, normally I would love this but he sounds like Butthead and I can't talk to him because he doesn't understand me...apparently I  "use big words". I am beginning to think my mother is right about me being picky. I'm sorry mom that I want someone who will help raise our children under the influence of the Priesthood and church values. I'm sorry that these men only exist for the thin blonds that dominate this state, and curvaceous girls who speak their minds are always the last in this race anyway.Despite my lack of a mate I do love Utah I have made a wonderful life for myself here and I have some wonderful friends. Also I have discovered that I can indeed do hard things as well.

Meet Butthead

So I got to class...LATE because of a basketball game which I happened to have tickets for due to my "academic success" last semester. Too bad, I go to night school... I would have enjoyed a free dinner and game with myself because I'm picky.

After class I headed to Campus Connection to reinstate my name in the system for the trip to Mexico because yesterday I went there twice and they could take my money but not put my name on the list. SO they told me to come back today where I was told the same thing...that's when I flipped. The guys there were giving me the "look" if you have worked in customer service you know this look it's the "this person is frustrated, I'm going to be pretend nice and have a sarcastic sense about the whole deal" That's when things got really out of hand, there was a small child about 5 yrs waiting with his dad who kept repeating everything I said:

Laura: *raised voice*    " I have been here three times now I have paid you my deposit and I want my name in the damn system!"

Child: "three times! System!!"

Guys: ''blah blah blah we will do what we can...sarcastic face"

Laura: "you don't give a rat's ass about this whole deal you just want me to leave because it's closing time"

Child:  "Leave! Closing !"

Guys: " you should be nicer"

Laura: *Throws available object at guy on computer playing games*

Child: "haha!"

The whole thing ended well, while I was upset the little boy came to my rescue and let me play with his hair during my tantrum, that calmed me down a bit and was able to resolve stuff with laughing at the fact that I actually threw something.

Afterward I apologized to the little boy and his dad for using bad language, and his dad said "it's okay he's heard way worse!" 


Life can be so complicated.