At the Mercy of Others

We have lived in this tiny home since we've been married, first in the basement for about 2 years where we learned to live together. I loved that little space, SO MANY MEMORIES! but when the owners moved we took their offer of living top side, mostly for the change and light. The deal was we would be "landlords" as it were, collect rent from a new downstairs tenant and take care of the house and yard.  We had a few peaceful months living here in the coveted upstairs in our little house we've shared. At first it was such a treat to have big windows and light everyday, a bathtub, and a pretty aspen tree right out our bedroom window. I looked forward to the spring because of the pink blossoms and new buds I could watch everyday out our bedroom windows. I would always think about the owners and wonder if they appreciated it as much as I did. I was thankful for our space and thankful to them for letting us have it. 

Most was going smoothly we had a few hiccups, the downstairs man (Anthony) had some issues here and there but nothing we couldn't handle. When things got a bit warmer we realized we were really ignorant in thinking we were landscape savvy but we did our best. May rolled around we planted our garden with Anthony, but soon the trials started with the tragic event of his sweet son who overdosed on heroin and died in our old bathroom was really shocking. Andrew had to bless the house twice because of the bad juju. 

The owners soon after decided to sell the house even though they said they wouldn't when we moved in. Neither of us knew how hard it would be for them to really take care of the house from so far away, especially if there was a big emergency, so I can't really blame them. Plus the market is up and they could make a profit, so they started the process. 

At first all was OK, but between the smooth talking real estate agents and home showings where people would walk through and imagine their stuff and their lives, where mine was already, was a little unnerving. I started to feel very unwelcome in my own home. Now I know it's not MY home but it is where we live, sleep, eat, pray, fight, laugh and love. My heart is here, well...it was. 

Over the course of the summer Andrew and I have been through a lot of stress, one minute we're being told everything is fine, the next it's we'll give you X amt of dollars to move. Then it was scratch that, the buyers want you to stay, why don't you move downstairs and pay the same amount you are now, you don't have to mow the lawn now, so pay 100 more in rent, pay for water, get your stuff out of the garage or we will throw it in the street (actual words from buyers, our new neighbors) yadda yadda. At one point I had called the real estate guy and literally cried into the phone about how much we felt we were being pushed around and bullied out of our home. But of course the new buyers want us to stay. 

My point is this, never in my life have I felt so at the mercy of others. I have never been threatened and dragged around so much, nothing is worse that feeling like you might have to move when ever someone calls or knocks. Or that you are going to be barked at for not fixing this or cleaning that because that''s "your job" or "you insisted on staying and being the landlords" No. We insisted on staying and getting a good deal on rent and keeping things the same until our lease ran out then we'd be gone. We thought we could keep up with the yard work and collect rent, how hard could that be? So Anthony got evicted, and now there is new owners that will live downstairs? We'd still mow the lawn! If you had a mower! 

There have been numerous people in and out of our house for weeks, we've had a gas leak at midnight that we had to deal with, and no one apologized for risking our lives so the fireplace would work. They almost had to evacuate the friggin neighborhood. People showing up and wanting to walk around again and again and again.....The house had to be clean most of the time "just in case" and we currently have no hot water. 

I know that both owners and the new buyers have been really stressed out and this whole thing has been crazy for both sides, it just sucks for us that we are caught in the middle and easy targets for blame and anger expressions. I have to admit I have not handled this change well and may have lost my temper a few times with those who don't deserve it. Well one girl I work with did, she was really pushy and mean, lets just say it's a miracle I still work there.

But I can't enjoy my space, I can't love this home anymore. They cut down the pretty roses in the back yard that decorated the laundry room window today, they trimmed the hedges so far back it's bare. There's no place for my kitties to hide and hunt because the bushes are gone. But it's not our home, it's their home now. We're just being endured for 6 months, and paying half the mortgage and utilities. 

I can't wait to move. We've found a home for 1 of our kitties (maybe two) and Emerson will always be with me, I'll be getting a doctors note stating that he is my companion animal. It's not a huge stretch, he really does chill me out, I'm medically depressed and high anxiety and I couldn't imagine life with out our sweet kitty. 

So we will be moving ASAP probably during January, hopefully somewhere close to school but I really don't care. As long as we don't live with the owners of the home, I'm kinda over that.