One last crappy roommate...

Recently I had an experience with one of my very new roommates which could possibly go down in my history book as either one of the most interesting experiences  or enough to piss you off that you go bat-$#*! crazy.

I was the latter.

Now most of this story happened when she first moved in the beginning of September, and as I try to keep my blog tasteful there are times where I just need to vent. The woman makes me so crazy mad I just want to spit at a stranger or her for that matter.
I didn't want to blog about this because it's kind of un-classy to do such things but after tonight I just GOTTA!

She moves in and immediately makes one roommate so mad she moves out the same day. Red flag 
She decides to let her cat roam around the house alone her first weekend here while away on some road trip to who knows where....Her cat is in heat.
She comes home and I try to get to know her, some how the conversation turns to weight and she starts talking about how important it is to her to be skinny, and how she used to be REALLY fat LIKE REALLY HUGE just a bit bigger than me. When I retorted that I'm not my body and kind of felt a little put off, but she reminded me she knew lots of fat people and some of those fat people were smart. Lucky me.
During this conversation I mention in jest that I should be on bi-polar medicine and sometimes I can be high anxiety...*Mistake*

She starts writing annoying notes and I protest to another roommate about how much I hate notes, the next day upon coming home from another 15 hour work/school day and getting in the shower and out without a towel, I dash to my room dripping and within seconds this girl is at my door demanding to talk to me. She's in my face about talking bad about her behind her back, I tell her to her face that I hate notes  so then I'm not talking about her. BUT SHE KEEPS GOING! Just round and round about how she pays rent (she's been living here a week at that point) and deserves to be told things to her face (I'm rarely home) la la la....well the argument escalates because she's escalating me and I'm vulnerable because I'm not dressed. Finally she says "I don't know why this is such a problem for you, obviously this is due to your mental condition"
 WRONG THING TO SAY.

So I get right up in her face and precede to hiss at her to get out of my room and my space.

She does! And promptly calls the police.

Yep. I had the cops called on me!

Best. Day. Ever.

She is of course the victim, after she tells the officer all about how I threatened her physically and she generally feared for her life. I was asked to talk with him and by the end of the whole ordeal he was joking with me and giving me marital advice. When I came back in the house I looked at my victim and thanked her so sweetly for calling such a nice man.

Her cat bit my cat and now he's sick, and she yells at me every time (very hatefully) that nobody saw her cat do it so I can't say that it did,Even though when I got home Em was inside and covered in fresh blood with a tiny puncture wound in his head. Not that this matters to me, they're cats and her cat is a jerk so whatever.
She leaves every light on and the T.V on all day and our power bill has gone up a ton and brings home strange men at 3 am.

I feel as though this is some kind of cosmic joke!

Dear Laura,

It has come to the attention of the heavens that you're getting hitched! Congratulations! To prepare you for this next chapter in life we have given you a most precious gift, a difficult roommate. Please use this gift because it is temporary, kind of like a coupon, expiring the middle of December. This gift will give you lots of stories to tell your  friends & co-workers, meanwhile making you bat-$#*! crazy.

Lots of love!

-The Universe


This may be my petty blog, BUT I'm feeling petty and VERY annoyed with her at this point.

Petty party...table for 1...