Family and others..

Although I only talk about certain things with certain people mostly those who are closest to me on a regular basis, I should just write about somethings that really bother me on a day to day basis. Things that I am struggling with and desperately trying to understand.

I should start out that over Christmas break I went home to Kingman and my sister had gotten engaged, yay! But out of nowhere a few weeks ago I find out she's planning on getting married in a few days (at that time) all in some stupid conversation with one of her friends on facebook. When I called my mother who then turned me into the bad guy by saying something along the lines of "well we didn't want you to judge Emily for getting married in Vegas so we didn't invite you." She got married in Vegas? 5 hours away? I could have taken her pictures! I could have given her a wedding gift, I could have been there for her. Instead my family decided that I would act a certain way and didn't even consider my feelings, not to mention I couldn't care less what Em does, it's her life now she's 18. I cared when she was 17 and having sex without birth control, and I kind of flipped on my mom for not being more responsible. I am now what you call "estranged" from my parents and my sister I feel, is slipping from me no matter what I say. I have been only supportive so far, sucks for a girl who sacrificed and loved her family more than anything. I am utterly devastated about this still, and I don't know what to do.


Her new last name is Douglass, she's moving to Texas... I found that out on facebook as well.

I think this is one of very few pictures they have of their wedding day stolen from facebook

Emily and Chase

Work has  been exceptionally stressful emotionally because my co-worker and I could never see eye to eye. I felt like I could never do enough, I could never be good enough, work hard enough for her standards. She never actually liked me, and I felt like I couldn't be myself. Countless times she told me she loved me but I could never believe her. In return I was a total jerk to her these last few weeks, I just couldn't find any love or trust in me to give anymore since she broke it again. When you work with people everyday for 6-7 hours (more than you spend at home usually) they become your work family. I value this because I don't really have a family here in Utah, I love everyone I work with. I hated who I became with her around, I was bitter and snippy. I said and did things I regret, Friday was the last of it and life at work will be much more peaceful, I don't have to worry about how fast I do things or how loud I get, I can just be myself, I can love being at work again. She is home now with her family, and hopefully at peace. I wish her only the best in life, I hope things really work out for her.

That's what's been on my mind all day....

Can I move here please?