catching up

This semester is incredibly hard, I'm not complaining I'm just merely astonished that I am handling it...well sort of.
I love a good challenge however for some reason, I cannot for the life of me understand math, I get the steps and I can do it with prompts but testing doesn't allow prompts. There is a program I can take that will help me to just test out of math, I hate to admit that this may be my out. The teacher shows us once how to do the problems then moves on to the next section, we cover 1 chapter a week each with 5 sub-chapters. I don't quit I always push through and come out ahead in the end. I'm worried about passing this class, and it's taking up all of my time and leaving little for my other assignments that I am just barely getting done instead really learning. I feel so dumb! I get so tired of it.

I'm not giving up just yet.

In my watercolor class I feel a healthier challenge, I don't particularly like the medium but I'm learning to work with it. It's amazing what you can do with little color and wet paper, the color seeps into the fibers and fades a look I could never achieve with any other medium. After today's painting I am beginning to like it more, our teacher admitted to us today that he doesn't need to teach, but does because he loves it. He has thousands of comic books from the 40's that he sells. He makes more in a week than a whole year working at UVU. Cool huh?

I love the temple! I have the most amazing experiences there, I went with some friends on Friday and got the chance to feel God's love for me. I know it seems cheesy but with all the stress around me all the time it's hard to have that love with you. Sometimes it just doesn't come naturally. He likes you to see it out, and I like it too. I was released from my calling on Sunday, I had asked to be. I know it's un-kosher to do such a thing, but I really felt it's what I needed.  If anyone has a deep understanding of free agency it's me, I have made hard choices in the past, I have watched others make choices too. I  chose one life over another. I will never regret my decision, I know this is the right place for me. I am so thankful for this gospel, I often think of where I would be without the church. I am so thankful for all my friends new and old who take care of me, and I am thankful for them too for letting me take care of them. And accepting me in all my emotional, awkward, hot tempered madness.




While at the concert I was seriously debating a mo-hawk.