I have currently started to write stuff down online, I have mentioned before that I don't like blogging mostly because I'm sure nobody would read it even though friends have expressed interest. That would mean I would have to know the address of my blog which I don't really. I was thinking that this is actually quite liberating knowing that no one really will read these that I'm just writing things down and posting them in the dark, and only I can flip the light on. Not to mention I am horrible at English and so unless you get here accidentally and are from Sweden or something looking for your cousin Lalo.
I have been dealing with my insecurities lately over the past couple of weeks, my family for one is a hard one for me to (dude this has auto save cool) figure out I have always been the glue that holds it all together and my family means the world to me but they are less than thrilled to feel the same about me I feel. I think they think I am a religious snob or something because I do live a certain way no drugs, alcohol, energy drinks and so on, they are LDS but are currently inactive which is hard for me right now because they have been doing so well the past 5 years or so. In my prayers I have felt that there is really nothing that I can do for them right now they need to fix their own problems and I need to work on my own and can finally stop being the parent. I love that I'm sitting in my office and my girlfriends are just hanging out with me watching me type hehe I love them.
I had a great experience in the Temple yesterday I love the Temple! It's always the one place where I feel youngest and most loved. I did initiatory and a session and that seemed to help me focus more on my prayers and get my answers again (it has been a bit dry this past month) I feel like I'm back in the game again and I feel good even though some of my relationships that I care most about are kind of lacking in luster. I don't know what I'm doing I care about this person so much but I just can't talk to them for some reason (I am still being cautious just in case no girl wants to reveal all her secrets). Anyway I just feel dumb and clumsy and I'm pretty sure he is upset with me for a couple of reasons and is ignoring me so I will leave him alone for a while maybe they will come around who knows but I have faith that it will work out for the best.
I have a lot of things that I am involved in I kind of have artists block or something I can't finish a painting that I started so I need to work on that. With work and work and more work hangin' with my buds I have been a busy Gal!
Comments:
ReplyDelete1- Sorry I didn't return your phone call yesterday, I left my charger in Pleasant Grove at my brother's house and my phone may or may not be dead. (It wasn't at the time you called, but was before I could call back)
2- Glad you have a blog.
3- Thanks for the nice comments.
4- While I am glad you have a blog the white text on black background gives me a headache. I make this comment on any friend who does so. Friends don't let friends do white text on black backgrounds.
i hope you always know how proud of you i am! even if you don't think so, you've grown so much since we met (though i'm sure we've all grown alot since jr. high). i think you've made something of yourself... you do live a good, moral life. if your family can't respect and be proud of it as well, then that's their problem. i can't believe your mom said that to you over the holidays, but know you are doing what you feel is right for you. it's ok if it's not right for them. you are following your own path, and that's all that matters. i love you!
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