Pondering

So over the last few days some stuff has happened and I figured this was a more appropriate platform to talk it out than on facebook. Besides this is kind of a journal in some ways right?

A couple of weeks ago one of the dudes downstairs OD'd on Heroin and died in our old bathroom. That was our first little nook and I'm having issues with it. I've had Andrew bless this house 3 times now, and the Bishop blessed the downstairs home. It's starting to feel like our little house again.

I've been really proud of myself for working as hard as I have at the Marriott. I find myself going the extra mile for a little more exercise. A week ago I hopped on the scale scared but hopeful only to find that I haven't lost a pound. A woman of my size should have lost at least a pound in a whole month, as I am burning up to 3000 calories in one shift, and I'm eating less. I also started getting my period every other day and that was just annoying. So I made an appointment with the doctors the next day and they took several blood samples, and I got the results yesterday.

First off I'm extremely anemic, that was her (Dr. Esme) first concern and it's causing some problems elsewhere but I'll be on iron supplements soon, so no big.

The second thing was that I have what is called Insulin Resistance. Through various drawings and notes on the clinic bed paper, she explained that I was heavy because my body is not using the food I eat correctly, and it's been happening since I hit puberty. So 19 years. She felt very bad for me, and said that I have been "wrongly judged" my whole life. Which made me tear up, a little. I'm also infertile at the moment and have been this whole time, I cannot have children until I get all this under control, unfortunately it's all part of one another. Even when it is under control, I suspect that It will be difficult for Andrew and I to conceive. We'll see!

So, when I eat something simple like fruit or bread my body turns it all to sugar then holds on to it. I don't metabolize the excess like everyone else. It's genetic, frustrating and not my fault. Yes I have dessert and yes I like to eat carbs but I do not eat so much that I should be this big. I really just thought I was doing something wrong or losing weight was REALLY that hard.

So as of today my diet had to change, I can no longer eat/process wheat, dairy, peanuts (be thankful it's not you Skoticus), corn products... Also nothing with Gmo's or hormones because those are reeking havoc on my system as well. So all happiness.

Today was eggs spinach and lentils. Tomorrow grilled chicken and baby greens. It's actually not bad at all so far! Though when groceries get low it will be interesting to find things to eat!

Pictures! Rob let me borrow his scooter again, I just love that little thing.