Math Lab

NO secret. I struggle with math, no matter how much I study or do problems I always struggle with this subject.

Enter Math Lab.

I haven't been to this place before but as I discovered tonight, cute boys will assist you in figuring numbers.
Enter Ben ( I called him Gentle Ben or GB for short.)

GB, strolled over to my table after my pride was defeated and I placed the flag in the holder alerting staff that the table for 990 needs help... stat. GB comes over and sucks me in almost immediately with his brown eyes, which is odd, I usually go for blue. This guy is totally my type, thick, hairy, nerdy, smart. I start to flirt and realize (of course) he doesn't have good social skills, so I change my flirting a bit by whispering "I dream of math" (no joke, in my dream I was stuck on a problem doing it over and over on a white board) he gives me a cute smirk and then it's on!

I am no longer paying attention to what he is saying, just thinking of first date ideas. I find myself giggling and calling him over for no reason at all. He is a little greasy and crusty but he'll do, I really turn up the flirting. Then my brain literally turns to mush, maybe he thinks I'm cute, maybe he's into dumb girls. If he is I got it in the bag! Because that is how I was acting.

I will so be there next week.

Dear Math Teacher...

Yep your class is hard, and you move very quickly and act as if numbers are just letters in an obvious order spelling out simple words. However some of us have to work much harder than you or others to get through these  words with no meaning. Some of us spend hours working on solutions that would take you
"10-15 seconds" Just because you sent me an email today urging me to quit doesn't mean I will. I am taking up the challenge to prove you wrong, and to prove to myself I can do this. I will study harder, I will do extra work, I will pass this class if it kills me. I have already cried over this, I hate feeling stupid. I hate feeling like I can't do these things, I hate feeling that everyone else is ahead and I am trailing behind, but this I can do. I know I can, I have been praying and asking for all sorts of heavenly help, so take your bad judgments and crappy email, and shove it.

Love Laura

everyone remembers what they were doing.

I lived in Kingman in a little house by myself; I was 20 years old. I worked at Bank of America as a merchant teller. I wasn't supposed to work that day but I was called in last minute because a girl was sick, I sat up and groggily went out into the kitchen and made breakfast. I remember my mom calling me and telling me to turn on the television. I had free cable because the people before me had rigged it so, every channel was blaring a horrific scene of skyscrapers on fire. I was pretty confused and I thought it was a hoax at first, but my mother was crying. I went to work at the bank and they pulled out a TV for everyone to watch, we had a ton of customers that day wanting to close their accounts, apparently they thought the world was ending. We had to apply a hold on everyone's accounts, no more than a 10,000 dollar withdraw. There were a lot of angry people, but mostly it was quiet. That's the thing I remember most it was the silence, and the faces of everyone who came in, everyone was devastated.

Holy cow.

I was really not expecting this semester to be so difficult. In my minds eye I figured I could handle all of these classes easily breezing through them like dispensable boy toys, waving my hand playfully and cloy.. "next!"

It's not really the material as much as it is the time and commitment all these classes are going to take. Until I can get used to this hectic schedule I am going to be stressed out and freaked.

I finally picked my major. Arts and Visual Communications! TA DA! I want to be an art director, I can work in movies, photography, publishing, advertisement etc.  It's perfect! I was talking with a friend at lunch and I mentioned my watercolor class and she laughed at me! She says "gee! I wish I was in a watercolor class"  I defended myself by saying "it's part of my major!" Cool huh! I get to paint and have fun!  All you suckers have to take classes like statistics! I get to play with color and my imagination! Someday I can get paid for it too. Isn't that what picking a major is supposed to be? You do what you love, I love the arts. I will have to minor in something like English or anthropology to emphasize my options of  work after college life. That will come later, for now I am looking forward to photography classes, art classes and whatever else I can squeeze in.

DEMOLITION DERBY!

Months ago I was with my friends Logan and Sara and we were talking about the fair and all the judging that we would have to do. Somehow the derby came up in conversation and naturally I freaked and begged them to take me with when they went.

We went last Saturday! Can I just say that finding a date for this was ridiculous. I asked quite a few guys and they would tilt their heads to the side and say "why?" After the initial few rejections I didn't care anymore and Sara found one of her girl friends to come along.

I haven't been to a county fair in years, I mostly went to see the people but unfortunately they were all normal. When it came time to watch the show we went in sat down and things got a little crazy.

I never really thought about what would happen, there were cars that flipped over or hit each other so hard they ended up in a tee-pee shape both drivers looking like they could take off for space any second. I loved every minute of it. At one point I said to myself "I could really see my self aspiring to do something this crazy"  and I really can! They had a powder puff competition and all the girls were really rough looking.


My car would have a sunset painted on it.

Sadly my camera wigged out half way so I got some good pictures but a few had double exposures.

Double exposure, you may notice Sara making a funny face on the right half of this picture.

These ones are actually triple exposures.

My favorite picture, you can see Logan paying for the slushies they were getting but I just love the two pictures of Sara in one shot, the one in the wallet and the one in front. She is loved!

Artsy Logan

Bull riding

In between car pummeling.

Double exposure

Sadly I just couldn't get my poor camera to work right so I had to deal with not very many pictures.

Meat roasting.

This has never happened to me before!

On days like today (first real day of school) where I felt like everyone was staring at me, which in a certain case there was this one girl who just kept staring at me. At first I was thinking she felt sorry for me because I was in sweat pants that were at least 2 sizes bigger than I should be wearing and my hair hadn't been washed for a couple of days and was all curly and wild. I was really balloted from brown rice sushi (trying to be healthy MY BUTT!) Anyway J'ness pointed out she only stares at pretty girls, but I know on occasion when someone looks haggard I definitely let my gaze wonder over to that person to asses the damage. Although I usually make up stories as to why they look so bad, and end up admiring them in the end. As for me I was a half hour late to work this morning due to a flat tire, then I was groped all day by my beautiful and patience pending clients. After that I got into a very hot car and swat (sweaty or sweatily)  my way to class. I had officially been through enough for one day and still had 3 hard classes to go. I can understand how I would look interesting. Still though I was there to learn not to look gorgeous. I was presentable! Just not gorgeous.

Then after a good swim with friends I get home and found this! I have never in my life felt so cool! Holly is a good friend of mine who lives in Kingman, we have known each other since high school but just until recently become better friends. Amy and her are close so I am sure Holly hears all about my wacky stories.

Thank you Holly for making my month! But most of all my day! You made me feel beautiful inside even though the outside wasn't so grandiose today!

More AZ pictures

A while ago I went to Arizona to visit my family and friends. I didn't really blog about it because I feel that the pictures themselves can say more. All I know is that I discovered two very different sides of both my parents and my best friend. I realized my mom and dad love each other more than I ever thought. Even though there has been a lot of mistakes made and harsh words thrown like fastballs in a cage with no bat. I forgive them, I hope they can forgive me too, I am thankful I have the family I do even though I complain about them often.
My best friend is very different than me but she is seriously my anchor. We may have had a few tizzy's but I made the observation that she is a real wife and mother and her role is changed. She can be both my friend and a wife and I am thankful she can balance both things so spectacularly. I hope she realizes how magnificent she is everyday and to know that she is so balanced even if she doesn't feel like it.
 I truly admire her.

As for me? Well every time I go home I hope to have some kind of deep realization that I am all that my parents think I am. I put on a show and pretend to be the good daughter, the one who has her head on straight and doesn't have breakdowns. The one who doesn't need therapy despite the fact that most of my immediate and extended family swear by it. I have to be the strong one, I always have been. Ever since I was little and especially since Emily was born I was forced to grow up quickly and make big kid decisions. No wonder I am so independent and clingy at the same time. I think as I get older I am finding treasures within my family, old friends and most of all myself.


Amy got up early to clean my car before I left for Utah, she said she remembered me saying that if my car was clean it ran better. The trailer was on the way home, it has as tree and a road on it!

Gleaning with Alena, she was totally into it! She would run out with me and swipe fruit, she sat there in the car an ate the whole thing of grapes before we even got home. The other pictures were some pomegranates that I knew grew wild by our old house in the alley.

I spent a lot of time on the trampoline with Amy's girls. This day was with Scarlett, we had fun but she is so high maintenance! AND SO CUTE!