DEMOLITION DERBY!

Months ago I was with my friends Logan and Sara and we were talking about the fair and all the judging that we would have to do. Somehow the derby came up in conversation and naturally I freaked and begged them to take me with when they went.

We went last Saturday! Can I just say that finding a date for this was ridiculous. I asked quite a few guys and they would tilt their heads to the side and say "why?" After the initial few rejections I didn't care anymore and Sara found one of her girl friends to come along.

I haven't been to a county fair in years, I mostly went to see the people but unfortunately they were all normal. When it came time to watch the show we went in sat down and things got a little crazy.

I never really thought about what would happen, there were cars that flipped over or hit each other so hard they ended up in a tee-pee shape both drivers looking like they could take off for space any second. I loved every minute of it. At one point I said to myself "I could really see my self aspiring to do something this crazy"  and I really can! They had a powder puff competition and all the girls were really rough looking.


My car would have a sunset painted on it.

Sadly my camera wigged out half way so I got some good pictures but a few had double exposures.

Double exposure, you may notice Sara making a funny face on the right half of this picture.

These ones are actually triple exposures.

My favorite picture, you can see Logan paying for the slushies they were getting but I just love the two pictures of Sara in one shot, the one in the wallet and the one in front. She is loved!

Artsy Logan

Bull riding

In between car pummeling.

Double exposure

Sadly I just couldn't get my poor camera to work right so I had to deal with not very many pictures.

Meat roasting.

This has never happened to me before!

On days like today (first real day of school) where I felt like everyone was staring at me, which in a certain case there was this one girl who just kept staring at me. At first I was thinking she felt sorry for me because I was in sweat pants that were at least 2 sizes bigger than I should be wearing and my hair hadn't been washed for a couple of days and was all curly and wild. I was really balloted from brown rice sushi (trying to be healthy MY BUTT!) Anyway J'ness pointed out she only stares at pretty girls, but I know on occasion when someone looks haggard I definitely let my gaze wonder over to that person to asses the damage. Although I usually make up stories as to why they look so bad, and end up admiring them in the end. As for me I was a half hour late to work this morning due to a flat tire, then I was groped all day by my beautiful and patience pending clients. After that I got into a very hot car and swat (sweaty or sweatily)  my way to class. I had officially been through enough for one day and still had 3 hard classes to go. I can understand how I would look interesting. Still though I was there to learn not to look gorgeous. I was presentable! Just not gorgeous.

Then after a good swim with friends I get home and found this! I have never in my life felt so cool! Holly is a good friend of mine who lives in Kingman, we have known each other since high school but just until recently become better friends. Amy and her are close so I am sure Holly hears all about my wacky stories.

Thank you Holly for making my month! But most of all my day! You made me feel beautiful inside even though the outside wasn't so grandiose today!

More AZ pictures

A while ago I went to Arizona to visit my family and friends. I didn't really blog about it because I feel that the pictures themselves can say more. All I know is that I discovered two very different sides of both my parents and my best friend. I realized my mom and dad love each other more than I ever thought. Even though there has been a lot of mistakes made and harsh words thrown like fastballs in a cage with no bat. I forgive them, I hope they can forgive me too, I am thankful I have the family I do even though I complain about them often.
My best friend is very different than me but she is seriously my anchor. We may have had a few tizzy's but I made the observation that she is a real wife and mother and her role is changed. She can be both my friend and a wife and I am thankful she can balance both things so spectacularly. I hope she realizes how magnificent she is everyday and to know that she is so balanced even if she doesn't feel like it.
 I truly admire her.

As for me? Well every time I go home I hope to have some kind of deep realization that I am all that my parents think I am. I put on a show and pretend to be the good daughter, the one who has her head on straight and doesn't have breakdowns. The one who doesn't need therapy despite the fact that most of my immediate and extended family swear by it. I have to be the strong one, I always have been. Ever since I was little and especially since Emily was born I was forced to grow up quickly and make big kid decisions. No wonder I am so independent and clingy at the same time. I think as I get older I am finding treasures within my family, old friends and most of all myself.


Amy got up early to clean my car before I left for Utah, she said she remembered me saying that if my car was clean it ran better. The trailer was on the way home, it has as tree and a road on it!

Gleaning with Alena, she was totally into it! She would run out with me and swipe fruit, she sat there in the car an ate the whole thing of grapes before we even got home. The other pictures were some pomegranates that I knew grew wild by our old house in the alley.

I spent a lot of time on the trampoline with Amy's girls. This day was with Scarlett, we had fun but she is so high maintenance! AND SO CUTE!

I need to take a shower, internally.

I think I am going to do a cleanse.

I am not the type of person to do such things, I think they are kind of hooky and trendy. I don't like to be overly trendy.
But I feel awful, I think the combinations of vacation, work stress, and stress in general has taken a bit of a toll on my body! I have headaches everyday, no energy and I don't want to exercise. This is bad because I need to feel comfortable in order to be confident, and with confidence comes opportunities that I can take to further enrich myself.  At this point I would be content to curl up in a ball and sleep all day, I am trying not to.

Any ideas on good cleanses? Not the lemonade one!

Are you serious right now?

Tonight I went over to my friend Derek's house for dinner. For weeks now he has been telling me how he is only into flat chested Asian women and older chicks really turn him off as well. He is 23 I'm 29, not that I am into him or anything it's just how many times do you have to remind me you're SO NOT interested in me? None the less he is actually a pretty good friend and I do enjoy our conversations. Enter Josh, new guy just moved here from the east coast and when he looked through our ward directory he saw my picture and apparently said out loud "I like puddin' girls" after which made various attempts to meet me, but we never really met until tonight.

At dinner the whole vibe was pretty uncomfortable, except for Derek who was talkative and served me yummy food and made good conversation, which is expected at a dinner party. Josh finally showed up and we got to talking and for a while I was thinking "hey! This guy is pretty cute!" He started talking about his crazy ward and we were having a good laugh about it then he said "you should come, you might meet someone you'd like" my response was "That's not the problem, it's finding boys who like me!" Then he said with out even a pause...


"Well these guys have low standards so I'm sure you won't have a problem."

Are you serious? Did you really just say that? Yes he did.

I never felt so ugly in my life,. Here I am trying to make a few new friends and then a guy who just met me judges my appearance while gobbling down his dinner and letting his primordial thoughts leak out of his head like bitter sap.
I retorted with "well I guess a virtuous woman comes a dime a dozen these days, apparently looks are everything to men."

There is a reason this 34 year old man is single.

He is a total toad. 

I'm sorry but I thought standards were something else.. Does he have a testimony? Does he know Christ? Does he love the Temple? Will he be a good father? These are things that I care about and rarely am I attracted to just good looks. Love for the Lord and intelligence, always.

Today, men are pigs.

My sister Emily

There is a "ghost town" outside of Kingman called Oatman, I loved it ever since I was little. Since I have been playing with the film camera's and not doing any editing whatsoever I decided to do a shoot with Emma so I can feel like I still got my photographers eye. I think things went well! We had a blast in these old buses that were tossed off to the side like forgotten toys. I was so scared we were going to get cut or stabbed! It was worth it though!

The rest were taken around Oatman and Hackberry.

I have always wanted to do some photography in a junk yard. On our way back home I noticed this one had a plane in the middle of it! I went in with out asking and was stopped by a cute Mexican guy who said we weren't allowed in there. He then asked where we were from and I explained we were "college girls"  and that seemed to do the trick igniting his curiosity. Then I simply batted my eyes and giggled a little and next thing I knew we had hard hats and a tour guide!

It was pretty cool!

Me saying NOT A MODEL!!

It was a fun day for sisters.

Toy camera's, Golden half and fisheye, meet AZ and fall in love...

AZ rain is the best, even better when you're on a trampoline with 2 cute girls!

Me and my bestie, AMY!