Friday, July 30, 2010

People I don't know

People are strange when you're a stranger


When you're strange no one remembers your name



Streets are uneven when you're down


When you're strange faces come out of the rain


Women seem wicked when you're unwanted


When you're strange

When you're strange 

 

 

 

Taken with the Ansco 1065
Film: 35mm  ISO 400 

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Camera Junkie?

Yes. Yes I am.


This little guy is the Golden Half, it takes a 35mm exposure and splits it down the middle giving you 72 photos with  36 exposure film. It's going to take forever to fill all those up but it's worth it. The images are really cool and I can do some really fun stuff with it. I bought it on ebay today for 50.00 and it comes with 6 rolls of film. Heck yes please?! I got a really good deal on it considering they usually go for about 60.00 in store and only come with 1 roll. I hope to get it before I go to AZ next week so I can take lots of cool pictures, and not have to develop so much film! It's cost effective in addition to being really, really cool.

Pic



golden half camera 35mm photography photo toy




Other people's images:

Pic

PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket



Girls

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

First roll back

My cute little camera I take everywhere. 
Andrew




JULIE!! 










Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Note to self.

Self,

Guess what?! You're happy! All day today people have been telling you how pretty you look, wanna know why? It's cause your happy. You have a lot going for you, great friends, school, fun camera's, garden, life is good self! Good job for owning that happiness.

It's good to be back!

Love,

Laura

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Finished!




I finally finished Eat Pray Love last night. I am embarrassed to admit that it took me a week, but I was desperate to read it. When I read I tend to get restless, then I can't pay attention to what I'm reading and sitting there reading is done in vain. So the reason it took me so long to finish it was because when I actually had time to read (and I made time too! ) I would have to get up and clean something then come back and finish a chapter.
I loved this book, I walked in this author's shoes for the whole week. Reading about her adventures and people she got to meet. I found a kindred spirit in this woman beginning to end, and could really relate to her. She is a very emotional woman, and I think in this present day being emotional tends to be looked down upon. I am always made fun of by somebody for "relying to much on relationships" to "caring too much".  People are ruthless and love to see others hurt or cry, I can't help but to think of reality shows and everyday people making headlines just because they had a "meltdown". Human nature must instill this weird quirk where we like to see others hurt, maybe it's because secretly it makes us feel better for hurting too.

The book was broken up into three chunks each with 36 different tales about where she had been, first was Italy, India, then Indonesia. Italy was amazing, the way she wrote about food and eating her way through to some sort of happiness was great. I love the way she observes people in every culture, I also observe people and usually have a good understanding of how we all work. My favorite part in the Italy section was about how Italians aren't passionate about politics because they really don't have any control over what happens. But if they get a crappy meal or see a crappy game they come undone and give it to you straightway, because these are things they experience and know. I think that sort of thing goes for everyone, I know when I see a crappy picture or eat something not so yummy!

India was incredible, she lived in an Ashram for 4 months and just meditated and learned how to control her pain and suffering. She really made peace with herself there.

In Bali she studied with an old medicine man and learned a lot about love of all kinds, friendship, romantic etc. Since I can't actually travel around the world I might as well read books all about others doing just that.  I just started Japanland today, I'm already hooked like I have a new, young, artist boyfriend just after a bad breakup....A rebound book!



Reading has been an escape for me of sorts and things are better for Momma Carr too, though I still stare at walls and feel numb sometimes, the brunt of this is pretty much through. Now I just have school to look forward to and a trip home to see my family and Amykins. I am putting some film in tomorrow to be developed finally! I have been daydreaming about what they will look like for a couple of weeks now. I can afford to have it done! Being poor is not much fun!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Slow Life

Blogging is such a great idea, because I like writing things down when I have the initial thoughts and I hate my handwriting. Granted I can't share EVERYTHING but I can for the most part jot down feelings and clutter that seems to ever invade the spare space in my mind.

Inner peace:

This has become a trend for me personally since I have been struggling for the past few weeks to have a happy balance inside, it's oh so easy for me to put on a smile and love others but when it comes to doing that for myself I have difficulties understanding the power of doing so. I think things are hard right now for me because Momma Carr is having a hard time remaining healthy, and I am having a hard time accepting that she is dying. There is a beauty to it I know, she gets very controlling about things, where to put utensils and how many she has. Micromanaging both Summer and I and one day I kind of flipped on her because she told me that I don't eat enough vegetables, I started to cry and told her that's all I eat and I am just a big girl ( I don't tell her that Andrew could be a culprit with his yummy treats) but it literally is genes for me! I am standing there with the fridge open and tears streaming down my face messing up the make-up I just put on. I spill some cream on the floor in my distress and it gets on my shoes. She comes and cleans up the mess of both me and the spilled cream. Taking my face in her hands and apologizing, she may have kissed my cheek I can't remember. I felt bad for that, but it's strange because I am not sure where I fit in to this situation. In one corner you have the renter, the other corner adopted daughter. I just want to do what is right.

A broken heart will catch up with you weeks after the blow, I am thankful for the initial grace and peace the Lord has offered me but it feels like I am slowly being given a little bit at a time now like some spiritual junkie. I have been so ambivalent about things it's ridiculous, when my bike got stolen I didn't care, I was mad initially but then I just didn't care. It's kind of like I'm standing in the middle of a dodge ball game and the balls are just bouncing off me and I stay there still like water in a jar. I am letting go though, I am thinking of ways I can better my life and move on. Alaska always comes to mind first, some great adventure filled with light show snow and eternally lit summers.

I have decided to take my award of financial aid (Stafford loan) please tell me how this is an AWARD and some sick version of FINANCIAL AID. I have to pay it back, but at least I get to attend classes, I miss school, I loved meeting new people and I crave learning new things. If anyone has a spare dictionary can I have it please? I have just realized that there are all these words I don't know! I NEED MORE WORDS!

I have been taking more hours at the job I "quit" a few months ago.  Mostly to pay for books and a trip to AZ, when I start school I will tell them to take me off the list. I hate that flipping job.

I miss my family, I miss my sister.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Garden love

My garden is a special place for me, as a garden is for anyone who has one. I cleared the brush, smoothed the dirt, and laid compost down...gross stinky compost. I planted seeds and waited for them to grow, I have been planning the vegi's I wanted since March. Now it's July and I should be getting some produce from my hard work in a couple of weeks. My garden is my space, they are my plants that I have raised and watched over. They are wild and grow where they want, every way spreading out into the available sunlight. Sometimes around dusk you can find me there laying next to my plants watching them listening to them grow, crawling through the dirt and looking under their turgid leaves for hidden flowers and masked fruits. I love my garden, and I am proud of it. 



Eggplant flower, ridiculously awkward thing but my favorite in the garden. 
 

 I have incorporated a lot of wild flowers into my garden this year, I sometimes leave the pretty weeds too just to add to my eclectic array.

 

 This one should be blooming soon.



 Cute little sweet 100's, the only tomato I will eat off the vine, all others need to be cooked first before they taste good to me. 




 
 I do love the way tom plants smell though, kind of skunky. 
 
Spinach 


Peach from papa Carr's garden

 

 Papa Carr! 




 Toby hang's with us while we are in the garden




 


 My friend at work told me I had to do the "sex" for the melons because they couldn't. I said "uh, bees?" She insisted that's what you have to do, so I went out this morn to do the deed (haha) but decided not too, if nature wants to give me melons she will! 

Bee-sides, I really don't think I should have a problem. We have a hive just over the fence :) 







I love Provo in the Summer

My friend Maranda and I share the same birthday, so on July 9 we had a small get together of friends and lived it up Mormon style. Which is basically tie dye and fake tattoos, and lots of junk food. It was a blast!

I made characters of Eliza and Maranda

Later that night I went with a few girls skinny dipping, and as with most of this past week I was too impatient to lock up my bike, when I got back it was gone. I was pretty upset but mostly just felt really stupid, FOR NOT LOCKING IT UP!

But it was worth it. We had so much fun!